Random thoughts

Inside the world is getting upside down or downside up But I have to smile and talk because the outside world will not accept my real thoughts. Inside my mind, I am pulling, screaming, cranky, snapping and hurting But outside I am just holding a paper between my fingers to make origami or just supporting my hands to look fine. Inside, my blood is splashing through veins and creating chaos in my mind but outside I have to look calm and always shine . Spilling of these thoughts I cannot hide because eyes never lie and ears I hardly get. I wish I could just explain what's all in my head but at the end I just get a paper and a pen. This is not for the first time, I am struggling through this every day and every night. Sometimes I am very happy and sometimes very sad And this world considered that she's a crazy lass. Cutting my vein isn't a solution because they will say that I am weak! And I am not giving them anymore explainations. Because I am n

Sometimes I want to go back to the time when my lips didn't lie and eyes didn't fake. Everything was so simple like a vanila cake. Crying used to be the weapon to get favorite pair of shoes. And now crying has become a habit to sleep and still not getting it. The sundays were used to be family's day out and now its been a while since we had real fun. Yet again I close my eyes and reel of those good and happy times roll on. I like that place,  can I stay there a little long.  Please.

That time of the day when I close my eyes I can feel the time flies. Mind is at relief, I believe! Watching myself resting in peace but, its just a moment of release. Suddenly a water ball rolls down the cheek hands reaching to wipe the mess my voice is still too low and weak. I am tired of putting up the show. Life is too hard to impress but, I will not fail to glow.