Random thoughts

, " When you are back in the world of loneliness! Where you just want to put yourself in the 12×12 room with closed door and far from this outside road noise.. the room where the  sound of running fan on the ceiling also haunts you; where the slightest knock in the door by the air shocks you.. where sometime your own breathing awakes you.. Why??? Why am I surviving this life? Is there any outcome to it!! Just waking up to breathe some good air and munch few bits of my favorite food for my body to manage. I am scared of this loneliness but more scared of the judgments of the people outside that closed door.. I know these judgments are not going to last forever but, the imprints on my mind what am i going to do with that??? I am strong but I am tired! This world has made me more weak by the process of its management. By the relations formed on this world, which are like the threads of cocoon; as much as it juggles, thread gets wrapped around it only... As i am shuffling ...

You stood up; like it was never a matter of concern for you. you left my hand!! even restricted my presence in your life, you left everything in a jiffy; me unnoticed of the hurricane that is about to come and, sway away all my reasons attached to the happiness.. Atleast, you could have informed me about it, so that i could hold the wheel and turn around the ship.. But, I didn't get a single chance to save the life of a ship.. why?

Am i happy???  I should be happy, i have everything i needed. But i couldnt feel that pinch of happiness. Monotonous has become my new happiness, has it?  something incomplete is left behind in the bars and i want to go back and complete that but, i couldn't make it complete...  #I wish I could understand myself earlier! That is slipping out of my hands and i know it will slip away and imprints of it will always haunt me like a horrific dream.. who knew i will land up on that thing like so heavily that it would be so hard for me to let it go.. Thats why carpe diem is so much in trend..