Random thoughts

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Inside the world is getting upside down or downside up But I have to smile and talk because the outside world will not accept my real thoughts. Inside my mind, I am pulling, screaming, cranky, snapping and hurting But outside I am just holding a paper between my fingers to make origami or just supporting my hands to look fine. Inside, my blood is splashing through veins and creating chaos in my mind but outside I have to look calm and always shine . Spilling of these thoughts I cannot hide because eyes never lie and ears I hardly get. I wish I could just explain what's all in my head but at the end I just get a paper and a pen. This is not for the first time, I am struggling through this every day and every night. Sometimes I am very happy and sometimes very sad And this world considered that she's a crazy lass. Cutting my vein isn't a solution because they will say that I am weak! And I am not giving them anymore explainations. Because I am n

Sometimes I want to go back to the time when my lips didn't lie and eyes didn't fake. Everything was so simple like a vanila cake. Crying used to be the weapon to get favorite pair of shoes. And now crying has become a habit to sleep and still not getting it. The sundays were used to be family's day out and now its been a while since we had real fun. Yet again I close my eyes and reel of those good and happy times roll on. I like that place,  can I stay there a little long.  Please.

That time of the day when I close my eyes I can feel the time flies. Mind is at relief, I believe! Watching myself resting in peace but, its just a moment of release. Suddenly a water ball rolls down the cheek hands reaching to wipe the mess my voice is still too low and weak. I am tired of putting up the show. Life is too hard to impress but, I will not fail to glow.

, " When you are back in the world of loneliness! Where you just want to put yourself in the 12×12 room with closed door and far from this outside road noise.. the room where the  sound of running fan on the ceiling also haunts you; where the slightest knock in the door by the air shocks you.. where sometime your own breathing awakes you.. Why??? Why am I surviving this life? Is there any outcome to it!! Just waking up to breathe some good air and munch few bits of my favorite food for my body to manage. I am scared of this loneliness but more scared of the judgments of the people outside that closed door.. I know these judgments are not going to last forever but, the imprints on my mind what am i going to do with that??? I am strong but I am tired! This world has made me more weak by the process of its management. By the relations formed on this world, which are like the threads of cocoon; as much as it juggles, thread gets wrapped around it only... As i am shuffling thes

You stood up; like it was never a matter of concern for you. you left my hand!! even restricted my presence in your life, you left everything in a jiffy; me unnoticed of the hurricane that is about to come and, sway away all my reasons attached to the happiness.. Atleast, you could have informed me about it, so that i could hold the wheel and turn around the ship.. But, I didn't get a single chance to save the life of a ship.. why?

Am i happy???  I should be happy, i have everything i needed. But i couldnt feel that pinch of happiness. Monotonous has become my new happiness, has it?  something incomplete is left behind in the bars and i want to go back and complete that but, i couldn't make it complete...  #I wish I could understand myself earlier! That is slipping out of my hands and i know it will slip away and imprints of it will always haunt me like a horrific dream.. who knew i will land up on that thing like so heavily that it would be so hard for me to let it go.. Thats why carpe diem is so much in trend..